Take my cat… please!

Why does everyone think the vet is going to take whatever animal you a) no longer want, b) no longer can care for, or c) just found on the side of the road?

I received two emails today, both people appear to want us to take their 100 year-old, ill cats and not euthanize them. Ugh…

Let’s be honest: no one wants a cat over the age of 5, no one wants to take over your problem child be it medical or behavioral, and it is not my responsibility to find your answer just because you refuse to take your unwanted animal to the shelter.Yes, if you take it to the shelter it is most likely going to be euthanized but at least you didn’t have to directly make that call on your own, right?

Does it make me sad that you no long want your animal? Sure. Do I really think all unwanted animals should be euthanized? No. But we do not have room in our hospital for your 14 year-old cat with pee issues. It won’t get adopted. If we don’t euthanize it, it will spend its whole life living in a kennel. Do you really think that’s a better life? I don’t. Does it suck to make the euthanasia decision? Yes, every time.

I realize you have no money and I’m sorry for that. At $100k+ in student loan debt, I feel your pain. But sometimes we have to do what is truly in the best interest of your pets, not just what is easiest for you.

Exams for all!!!

In my world, an exam is not optional.

This is for several reasons, not the least of which I don’t want my ass sued because you refused an exam and your pet died from something I did that you requested. It’s not just CYA either, it’s just good medicine.

The only time a full exam is quasi-optional would be if I just saw your pet within the past month and you had no questions or concerns. Then I’d do a quickie lookie-loo and that’d be it: attitude, mucous membranes, heart and lungs. Done.

Now, if you come into my clinic for vaccinations, do not, when I’m over half-way through the exam, tell me you specifically requested no exam. If you had indeed done that, here’s how it woulda went down: the technician would run your pet to the treatment area, I’d do an exam and we’d do vaccines. Bada-bing, bada-boom. I’d walk your pet back to you, ask if you had any questions or concerns and you’d be out of there. Because for as many things as we check on a physical exam, most vets have it down to a routine that can be done in 5 minutes or less as long as everything is normal.

Would I be doing an exam without your permission? Yes. But I don’t care. You’re not being charged for it, so why do you care? It’s non-invasive and it needs to be done to ensure your pet’s protection. Unless you truly don’t care about your pet; then you probably won’t care that I did an exam anyway.

That’s for wellness visits. Our clinic policy is we don’t charge for an exam at the time of vaccinations because it’s not an option. For sick visits, however, we charge and you’re gonna get one done. No, I legally cannot prescribe medication for your pet if I have not seen it in person in the past 365 days. That’s the law. I didn’t make it but I have to live by it.

Depending on the condition and your pet’s history, I will likely require an exam prior to dispensing medication even if you’ve been in within the past 365 days. Some of this will depend on how much I like you. Deal with it. If I like you, I probably know you pretty well because you’re in all the time anyway so it won’t be a problem. If I don’t like you, think of the exam fee as a pain-in-the-ass charge.

Every hospital has a pain-in-the-ass charge in one form of another. If you’re a pain in the ass, better believe we won’t forget to charge you for every nail trim and anal gland expression. We’ll also charge you a daytime emergency fee when you barge in while we’re busy in surgery and demand to see a doctor because you cut Fluffy’s toenail a millimeter too short without having called ahead first.  If you’re nice, I will likely do things like that at no charge if you’re in for something else. See? Nice and polite pays.